Great Joke

Gittes comes bursting in, slapping a newspapers on his
thigh.

  GITTES
 Duffy, Walsh --

Walsh comes out of his office, Duffy out of the other
one.

  GITTES
  (continuing)
 Sophie -- go to the little girl's
 room for a minute.

  SOPHIE
 But, Mr. Gittes --


  GITTES
  (insisting)
 Sophie.

  SOPHIE
 Yes, Mr. Gittes.

She gets up and leaves.

  GITTES
 -- so there's this fella who's
 tired of screwing his wife --

  DUFFY
 Jake, listen -

  GITTES
 Shut up, Duffy, you're always in
 a hurry - and his friend says why
 not do what-the Chinese do? So he
 says what do they do? His friend
 says the Chinese they screw for a
 while -- just listen a second,
 Duffy --

A stunning YOUNG WOMAN appears behind Gittes in his
doorway. She's shortly joined by a small, GRAY-HAIRED
MAN. They listen, unseen by Gittes.

  GITTES
  (continuing)
 -- and then they stop and they
 read a little Confucius and they
 screw some more and they stop and
 they smoke some opium and then
 they go back and screw some more
 and they stop again and they
 contemplate the moon or something
 and it makes it more exciting.
 So this other guy goes home to
 screw his wife and after a while
 he stops and gets up and goes into
 the other room only he reads Life
 Magazine and he goes back and he
 screws some more and suddenly says
 excuse me a second and he gets up
 and smokes a cigarette and he goes
 back and by this time his wife is
 getting sore as hell. So he screws
 some more and then he gets up to look
 at the moon and his wife says, 'What
 the hell do you think you're doing?
 (Gittes breaks up)
 ... you're screwing like a Chinaman.'